The negotiations and renegotiations had begun. Ultimately, I landed on a single ask, “as long as they are healthy…” Though what I really meant, but could not say was, “as long as they are alive… as long as we are alive.” In reality, I wanted more than that, I wanted a birth […]
leaving, take & motherling: fragments from a failed care plan
leaving then this is a treatise on leaving how it is inside but needs to get beyond i’m reading a novel on leavings to escape what is the rest of the world: 700,000 souls departing & those who don’t believe the validity of this disease i’m […]
Battle Fatigue on the Frontlines of COVID
I grew up in a town with a population of 900. We knew everyone; they us. I grew up knowing who died, who became a parent, who divorced, whose barn burned and the date we’d all meet to rebuild. I lived on a lonely country road ten miles from my high school whose last stretch […]
The Lunch Lady
Mom never fucked quiet. Every few nights I’d wake up the same way, with the framed velvet art poster bouncing over my bed. Men’s moans varied, but Mom’s stayed the same—short and panty, then long and yowling. I would have rearranged my room if it weren’t so cramped and the window drafts cold year-round. She […]
COVID and Locusts and Protests and Love–A Community Nursing Perspective
My last patient had screened negative for all COVID symptoms in the waiting room, and his temperature was 97F, like everyones. We could set ourselves on fire and the touchless thermometers would still read 97.2, 96.4. Before entering the exam room, I looked at the stack of PPE, which we counted each morning. I […]
A Portfolio of Writing by Professional Nurses
Above: Diane Kraynak, R.N. A PORTFOLIO OF WRITING BY NURSES: Tina Carlson • KD Seluja • Sally Helmi • Christine Riley • Jane Slemon • Renata Bubadué • Diane Kraynak • Geraldine Gorman • Charles March III • Mary Ann Thomas • Sarah Comey Cluff • Brenda Beardsley • Shirley Stephenson • Nicole Aicher • […]
Cat
The cat drags herself into the room where my husband and I are talking about what’s to be done. When she drags herself away, my husband hangs his head and weeps. I hear his tears smacking the hardwood floor. “Oh, baby,” I say. He apologizes and I say he has nothing to apologize for which […]
from “AND YET”
from And Yet * Celibate that first year in the Midwest I felt relief from my libido and inherent male gaze launched outward. Leaking its covert imagination everywhere, especially on women, I felt relief from the (sexual) daimon constantly prowling along and inside me. This isn’t to say, though, that I felt any more civilized […]
Après le D&C and Isabelle Huppert
Après le D&C When I braved the wind for unnamed fruit, the sea and trees for shallow depths, the answer clung to my inner thighs as I turned to building an empire. I was sad to be done and glad to be scraped, and my books remained unopened. The first was on the art […]
Poems from “Desiderata” by Lizzy Mercier Descloux
Read the poems from the new book, listen to her first album, Press Color, in its entirety, read more about this poet and musician, and watch performances. MEAT. Night after day, stunning flesh of absolute nerves. Waxed and chilled, marrow and femur Desire for fulmination. Under the tongue capsules of […]
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