From me to others: a short reflection

      I started writing a journal during the pandemic, but as deaths numbers increased, everything seemed very narcissistic. Writing about my mundane daily experiences of a nursing researcher seemed meaningless and selfish, so I stopped and focused on working on awareness and health education. I started with my family, those close to me that, often, questioned my own knowledge as a nurse for there were professionals who minimized the pandemic. 

      I secluded myself from the world and felt guilty for calling my rights privileges. Because where I am from, being able to work from home, having food, a house and security makes me a privileged person. 583 thousand deaths later, Brazil is an international joke for those who can laugh at the misery of others. And sometimes I do it too. Either you laugh and power through or you are left paralyzed with fear and depression in a country where the government choses money over people. 

      We are looking at a deeply wounded nation that needs to choose between starvation or the risk of being infected by Covid. There was no plan, no welfare, and no leader to look up to. Brazilians were told they could handle anything and that the economy must not stop while yet, another again, another corruption scandal broke through. 

      Scientists are questioned and there seem to be a disregard that freedom entitles responsibility to others. Your right to not get vaccinated prevents a pandemic to end and puts us all at risk, therefore it is not a freedom of choice anymore but neglection and denial. As I nurse, I learned the importance to care for others and to use my knowledge to service people’s well-being, but as of 2021, I feel devalued, silenced, and helpless at times.

      Yet I have hope in the new generation. I see young people, children and adolescents who care for others and worry about the future. I see them mobilized to vote better and exercise their humanity daily. I see children and adolescents who struggle but commemorate at the success of others. I see young people parade with their vaccination cards with happiness and excitement while some think of them as fools. But are they fools? Or just wiser to recognize the importance of science and social responsibility during a pandemic? Are they fools to be happy that the vaccination arrived? Or just wise to sit with that feeling and let it be?